Awareness to Suicide Prevention Month 2020:

*Trigger Warning: Verbal and Emotional Abuse, Suicide Discussion Below*

When I was a teenager, I lived with my Grandmother and Great-Grandmother. Unfortunately, my relationship with my Great-Grandmother was not very good...in fact I will never understand why but she was verbally abusive towards me for years. She would tell me many things like I was too fat, my clothes were too tight, my hair was too long and that was considered dirty, and other things. My Grandmother was caught in the middle so she never defended me or had her mother stop and as an adult now I can understand why she didn't. I have myself been in situations like that so I will never hold it against her for not telling my Great-Grandmother to stop. 

One day, I was home sick from school (Truth was I was faking) and by mid-afternoon my Great-Grandmother was on a verbal rampage against me. My Grandmother was at work so she couldn't help and I just tried to endure it. But I remember walking into the kitchen in tears, and grabbing a kitchen knife. As I stood there crying hysterically I put the knife to my wrist and pressed down. I pressed, and pressed and just as I broke the skin I snapped out of it and froze in terror. 

I was lucky enough to bring myself out of it, and I told my Grandmother that night just how badly I'd been hurt by what was said to me. (I never told her what I'd done). I know that I was lucky to not do anything but many are not so lucky. So this post is to bring awareness to suicide and to bring attention to Suicide Prevention Month of September.

If you ever feel that you are lost, wanting to harm yourself, or think that suicide is the only way out please do not hesitate to call the Suicide Hotline at 800-273-8255. They are there to help you and guide you. 

You can also reach out to me at ballerina@thereviewballerina.com and I will respond. I get my e-mail directly to my phone and if you put that you need a shoulder, an ear, or help please know I will respond to you. 

Elizabeth is a wife to her wonderful husband, a work at home mother to her beautiful little girl and a blogger for some time now. When she isn't spending time with her "Livvybug", or laughing with her husband, she is looking for new review opportunities and writing or singing along to classic rock and pop music!